The Incident at the Drunken Dragon Tavern
It was supposed to be a normal day at the Drunken Dragon Tavern in the dwarven city of Khazad-Morr. The tavern keeper, old Grundin Steelbeard, had agreed to let the young brewing apprentice test his latest creation - a supposedly “revolutionary” ale that would “dance on the tongue like pixie dust.”
Fartbucket (then still known by his birth name, Thorin Brewbeard) had spent weeks perfecting his special ingredient: a peculiar fusion of traditional brewing yeast and a rare variety of luminescent cave mushrooms he’d discovered growing near an ancient artificer’s workshop. He’d infused the mixture with minor enchantments, theorizing that the magical resonance would enhance the natural fermentation process.
The sampling was scheduled for midday, when the tavern was typically quiet. However, word had spread through the guilds about the experimental brew, and the place was packed with curious onlookers - brewers, artificers, and regular folk alike.
Fartbucket stood proudly behind the bar, his beard braided with his prized brewing medallions, as he began his presentation. “Ladies and gentledwarves, prepare yourselves for the future of brewing! I call it… the Giggling Geode!”
The trouble began when he tapped the specially modified keg. The first mug filled with a promising golden liquid that sparkled with tiny motes of magical light. But something was wrong. The magical resonance had amplified the fermentation far beyond his calculations.
The pressure built rapidly. Those closest to the bar noticed the keg beginning to vibrate. Fartbucket barely had time to shout “EVERYBODY DOWN!” before the keg erupted in a spectacular display of foam, light, and the most noxious gas anyone in the tavern had ever encountered.
The gas had an unusual property - it reacted with the magical enchantments on the various items worn by the patrons. Soon, the air was filled with involuntary belches that produced small, glowing bubbles. Each bubble, when popped, released a tiny musical note and a fresh wave of the horrific stench.
The evacuation of the Drunken Dragon took nearly an hour, as patrons had to navigate blind through the technicolor fog while dealing with uncontrollable magical burping. The effects lingered for days - the tavern’s wooden surfaces were permanently stained with swirling, iridescent patterns, and for months afterward, anyone who drank from the tavern’s mugs would occasionally hiccup sparkles.
The Guild Masters were not amused. However, they couldn’t deny the innovative (if volatile) combination of brewing and artificer techniques. Instead of revoking his licenses, they imposed a peculiar punishment: henceforth, he would be known officially in all guild documents as “Fartbucket,” serving as a reminder to future apprentices about the importance of controlled experimentation.
Fartbucket took the name with pride. “At least they’re still talking about it!” he often says. The incident taught him valuable lessons about magical resonance in brewing, though he still occasionally tests his more experimental concoctions - now safely away from populated areas.
The Drunken Dragon, incidentally, became more popular than ever. The magically stained wood and occasionally sparkly mugs became tourist attractions, and Grundin eventually renamed the establishment to “The Burping Dragon” in honor of the event.
Notable Details
- The mushrooms used were later classified as “Gigglecap Luminaris” and are now a controlled substance
- Three Guild Masters’ beards had to be shaved due to persistent magical sparkles
- The magical burping lasted exactly 7 days, 7 hours, and 7 minutes in affected individuals
- Several bards composed popular tavern songs about the incident
- The original keg is now on display in the Brewers’ Guild Museum, behind reinforced glass